Midwood High School

I went to a writing workshop today. The people who read were so good that I was glad I had to leave before I got to read what I had brought. There was no dialogue in my piece.

"Mother, I don't want to go to Midwood High School"

" That's silly. Of course you have to go to Midwood High School"

I don't even thought I could explain to her why I didn't want to go. Maybe I said I wanted to go to a smaller school. Of course, that would have cost money. We had no money.

The four years at Midwood High School were at the time the four worst years of my life. I didn't know then that there were worse years to follow.

remember

When I was five years old I asked my mother why God didn't stop Hitler. I don't remember what she said. It must not have been very memorable.  I was told that I was in a major depression my whole life. But I disputed that. I believed I was just able to see the pathology of mankind.

I recently read that there is no way that population growth can be stopped or even slowed down. Not through war or disease despite what Hollywood movies tell us.

I can't write anymore now. My brain hurts.

middle of the night

Here it is 5:56 am and I can't sleep. I'm thinking of my daughter, Mary Ellen, who has lost most of her vision due to Humira which she took for her Crohns disease. She used to not talk to me much but now she talks often and for an hour or so. What can i do for her except send her some money and encourage her to go to the Lighthouse, She has mentioned her cousin's apartment. Mary Ellen lives in San Francisco in a small apartment in someome's converted garage but her cousin has a big house with a guest apartment.  also her cousin's two sons are now in college and her daughter who is 8 and has epilepsy and with whom Mary Ellen is very close.